My question to the subject is simple….
”It literally can be anything... what’s not up for a debate in your eyes?”
It’s not about sides... This isn’t about black and white or about red / blue. It’s not about race or religion. It is about the person, and what is most important to them.
It is because everyone has a story. Has a basis of self. I want to collect stories that represent who we are at this moment. A story that will reflect a collection of our individual struggles, celebrations, convictions, passions and purpose. Our struggles is a collective one.
I want to explore the notion that in life we face many of the same things in many different ways. I want to explore what is without question, to see if what drives us… ties us together.
What would it look like to tell stories from vastly different communities to see how similar we actually are?
“What’s not up for debate are the lives of the people that are dying daily because this country clearly is more obsessed with money and power over the lives of the people who create the means for them to have it. The health disparities in lower socioeconomic communities all around the country, and even the world,have been highlighted even more, and yet we still haven’t fixed it. Over the past year the lives of over 500,000 people in the U.S. we’re lost. Not to mention the insurmountable debt that people have accrued because of the high costs of healthcare in the country. Why have we failed to proved such a necessity and why must we people go in to debt just stay alive.”
Understanding the YOU are and living in that truth, not the YOU that we use as an excuse to operate out of trauma or to further abuse others but the YOU at the core of your individual humanity, the YOU that connects us all to each other. If I am to believe in collective consciousness, a unified mind that all of us worker bees follow, I also must believe that what I admire in myself can also be found in others. That my true power as an individual is much like a corner of a billion piece puzzle set, it is made to connect to others. And it’s through connection to others that our individual holds value
Love isn’t up for debate, it should be the basis of our connections with each other, we should lead with it in situations with others, being patient, being kind, expecting the best, forgiving each other, living is tough enough as it is but loving one another shouldn’t be up for debate.
At this moment of life - Joy - has no beginning and no end. Like Love, and the stillness of Peace, I believe it’s one with who we all are. Joy is part of an infinite & divine energy we can all tap into, within & without. Unlike happiness... which Eckhart Tolle describes as human made emotion driven by ego, Joy can’t be turned into sadness by any perceived situation. That resonates with me deeply. Joy is infinite, boundless. Which makes ‘En-joy-ment’ a right of all humans. Remembering this as part of how I exist, part of what I fight & work for, has helped to strengthen my resolve in living a life that’s full of good trouble. I’m en-joy-ing all the highs and lows of moments, finding the underlying current of Love, Joy & Peace within myself, others, and the world around me… even in all our not so pleasant experiences, signs of Joy are signs of hope.
Black Love… Love
What we feel the need to define... I had a sitting with my father in law the other day. I asked him what he thought about Black Love. He went on to tell me about where he grew up it was just ‘Love’. He grew up in Imesi Ekiti Nigeria. He spoke about how ‘Love’ is love for your neighbor, your nephew, your second niece, for your 3rd cousin, for the family down the street, it’s love for your community. A community that is the majority.
My blood father grew up in the islands. He came to America in the 80s, met my mom and here I came. I think at times about the journey my children’s genes took. The divergence and convergence. The sacrifices made so they could exist and thrive. I think of the seas they traveled and the trauma endured.
I am inspired by my father in laws journey. I am inspired by his work ethic and what he did to pave a path for his family. I am thankful for his daughter and I give thanks for my children. He is the smartest man I know, the wisest man I know. He treats me like a son.
It’s ‘Love’. I grew up and Father’s Day was for my mom. (My father wasn’t around). But with Father’s Day coming tomorrow I think about how blessed I am to be in my children’s life. How fortunate I am to have the opportunity to love them. The responsibility I have to protect them. The blessing it is to teach them how to love their community, to fight for their community, and celebrate their community.
To teach them that Black Love is Love
I asked him for something that wasn’t up for debate. Something where there is no middle ground. Something that is beyond a debate. I loved his answer.
“Jesus is real. That’s all that matters… Fight me”
As I sit back and think about my journey, I often hear that I have to find a middle ground in the things that I do.
I believe that there is no middle ground.
It’s either you’re going to set your mind to doing something or you’re not. That holds true today with the injustice of my people. There’s no middle ground. We’ve been villainized in the media and our positive impact that my people have made have been muted as well. We all have the ability to Love, to Hate, and to Help others. It’s a choice that an individual has to make. Again, there’s no middle ground in that.
My choice is to Love and Help others. I believe that is my purpose in life. Anyone who knows me can attest to that. If you strongly believe in something, I’m right there with you, cheering you on or figuring out how to make the dream come true. I guess you can call me a hype man or battery pack. I also believe that everyone has the ability to be great, but they have to overcome their personal fears and insecurities. Essentially you have to master the art of not giving a f#%* what people think and keep pushing. ✊🏿”
As a black woman who experiences adversities I believe I could love anybody. Anyone on this earth because I have perspectives on being mistreated. I put myself together after being mistreated...I can help(love) anybody back to whole because I know how it feels to be broken by many things, and many people.
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For me, I owe my existence to black women. Aside from my mother, my spiritual mother who’s protected me since teen years up to now, the women who have raised my children, and those who loved me and sheltered me when I had nowhere to go.
That’s why for me, protecting black women is my base level requirement for being human. They raised me, loved me, allowed me to live as opposed to surviving. It’s black and white. That which is black needs black love, care, and attention to be.
I would have to say Fatherhood. Being a Dad is super important in the development of our children and often times a lot of guys phone it in and that’s not fair for the child and ultimately not fair on the well being of your partner. Rearing children has a number of important aspects but the one with the most weight in my opinion is giving them the all the tools and resources needed to be a productive member of the community and to be able to raise their kids with the lessons you instilled.
There’s no in between for the children. They don’t care about your reasons or excuses; you need to be present and all in to be truly influential. My dad is an amazing father and I’m striving to be at least half the man he was for my family, my community, and my son who just turned 1 in May. It’s important for me to grow and evolve as a man so I can provide for him a safe place to grow, explore and develop into the person he wants to be.
I would say the absence of my father through out my life. Growing up, it is very important for young black men to have their fathers around because they are able to teach you things a mother can not. Although he was an addict, that does not excuse his actions. Even though my father was not in my life, my mother has done everything possible to raise me as the strong, confident, black man I am today.
My mother is definitely one of the hardest working people I’ve seen. I strive to one day have a drive as strong as hers. She’s never showed me her struggle, but I know there were times of struggle raising a child at 16. I don’t think I appreciated everything as much when I was younger and I still feel like my appreciation will grow. I look forward to growing as a person and achieving my ideal success. I believe I can achieve everything I want and more with hard work and dedication.
Through my experience, I have learned how I would like to treat and be there for my children in the future.